I'm Just a Seamstress

The one thing I love most about sewing is I can take a few pieces of fabric and turn it into something wonderful.  No one knows what the finished product will look like but over time, piece by piece, it all comes together.

It goes from this

 to this.   

As I finished this years costumes Psalm 139:13 came to mind.

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb."

Just like the costume, God takes us piece by piece and over time we turn into something wonderful.  A little new born with all its squishy yummy smelling goodness!  Before anyone could detect the pregnancy (even mama bear) He was creating at conception.   

I know this truth first hand.  It was a hot late August drive down the windy road to our goodbye lunch when I felt sick.  I knew I was pregnant.  Pregnancy test and blood tests both confirmed it.  But before this announcement was made there was WORRY.

We headed to the German hospital for an ultrasound.  I needed to be medically cleared to travel back to the US.  With all of the instruments and high tech tools the doctor couldn't see a baby.  The only thing seen was the fear I felt. 

The doctor was honest and informed us it could be an ectopic pregnancy.  The egg could have implanted in the fallopian tube making it impossible for the baby to grow and dangerous for the me.  

Day two we returned for yet another ultra sound.  Just fluids but no baby.  Doctor again informed us the fluids may be an indication of a miscarriage.  We prayed, we asked others to pray, and we trusted God.  Whatever was going to happen  we were in His hand.  Psalm 139: 13-16 was where I found comfort.  

"My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance"  [v15]

We knew he was there.  Even though we couldn't see Him, the doctors couldn't see him, GOD could see him.

On the third day, the day before we were scheduled to hop on an airplane, baby boy showed himself!  So much joy and relief.  He was just a teeny weeny tiny spec on the ultra sound screen.  Unidentifiable by my untrained eyes but this 4-5 week little baby was forming.  That little faint dot was being created. 

The rest of the pregnancy went smooth but this time in our life showed me just what a miracle life is.  I'm still astonished that this toddler started out life unseen.  Unseen but fully loved.

I'm just a seamtress, a sewist.  I may have created that pretty little dress but God in heaven is the true creator.  A spec on a screen, God knit you together in  my womb, and handsome little man you truly are fearfully and wonderfully made.  

I'm Sick & Tired

I mean literally, I am sick and tired.  Bear with me while I throw myself a mini pity party for a second.  My body aches, my throat is sore, coughing like a frog, I'm breaking out in daily crazy hives, the toddler is not sleeping well, which means neither am I.  

Tuesday was rough emotionally and physically.  I'm getting virtual sympathy from friends and one in particular sends me a video on positive thinking and gratitude.  At the end of the video this little piece from Romans 12:2 popped into my mind:

Be transformed and RENEW your mind.  Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Good, pleasing, perfect.  All words that do not describe how I feel BUT I'm pretty sure the last thing God wants me to do is complain, feel hopeless, and defeated.  He wants me to RENEW my mind and be transformed.  To put a new perspective on these situations, his perspective. 

FLIP IT

So I flipped it.  I took each complaint, each situation I'm facing and asked Him to renew my mind to see them differently.  

I'm sick.

BUT through this sickness I've been able to experience and see Randy's love so strong and so tangible.  That man is pretty amazing.  Putting kids to bed, his prayers over me, the pity, and offering to take a day off to help.  I'm so thankful for him.  You're the best my love. 

Confused by rashes. 

BUT God knows.  He knows what is going on inside my body and I need to trust that it will get taken care of in time.  TRUST.  I have the ability to see a doctor and I'm thankful for that.  I'm thankful to have family and friends who are praying for my health and have been such an encouragement through this discomfort.  [looks pretty gross, I know]  

3am Wake Up Call

This was a tough one but the bestie said, one day he'll be grown and won't be crawling into bed with you anymore.  As hard as it is to have my sleep interrupted, the bestie is right.  So for this week I'll enjoy the snuggles and the baby love. 

RENEWED

You know what happened when I flipped it?  My body is still sick and I'm still tired but I genuinely feel good.  [hehehe]   My spirit is strong and I feel renewed.  I know God wants me to see how he is using this sickness and my tired body to strengthen my faith and show me just how loved I am.  I know that this crazy attack on my body WILL PASS.  

So if you're having a rough week or feeling sick and tired...  Take Romans 12:2 say it, pray it, and believe it.

God, you have given me the ability to transform and renew my mind.  I want to learn to know your will for me which is good, pleasing, and perfect.  

  RENEW your mind and FLIP IT.  See the hope in the situation and how God can use it for the good.  Take the complaint and turn it into gratitude.  

I Need More Eggs

We walked up to the freezing cold gigantic dairy section at Costco and Randy asks, "How many eggs?"  The last time we got a 36 pack they somehow disappeared.  As I was standing there thinking about my cooking plans he jokingly said, "If we get more than 36 you'll be cooking for the whole neighborhood." [Insert giggles].   He's right and I was proud.  That one statement showed me that he saw my heart.  He saw how I showed my love to our family and our community.

I love feeding people.  It sounds so silly but it's true.  When I read 1 Kings 19 I got the warm fuzzies because the story reminded me that God can use any act of service including what I create in the kitchen to minister.  He can use these treats to show people they are loved, important, and cared for.  Who doesn't love a little something sweet or salty or savory or down right delicious?! 

1 Kings 19 is a short story but let me give you the run down.  Elijah was running from Queen Jezebel because she wanted to kill him.  Actually, she said that by the next day he would be killed.  SO, he runs and runs and runs into the wilderness until he is physically and emotionally exhausted.  He's afraid and so distraught he even asks God to take his life.  Instead, God sends him an angel.  The angel doesn't do any cool miracle, no healing, bright lights, no glitter, nothing supernatural.  The angel  does something so simple..... cooks him food, gives him water and lets him rest [1 Kings 19:6-9].  That's right ladies, all this weary man needed was a hot meal, some water, and lots of rest!  

I love to cook, bake, host and give people a place to rest.  When I read this story it was like God telling me, you may think what you do is little but I take your little gift and show my love to them through it.  It's amazing what a little thoughtfulness and delicious goodness can do for a tired and weary soul. I know because I've also been on the receiving end of meals that have been gifted to me. 

Do you see where I am going with this?!   It seems like a small menial task.... cooking but I'm convinced the saying food is good for the soul comes from this story.  God showed me that my little passion for cooking can do more than nourish a belly he can use it to nourish a soul.  You may not like to bake, cook, or host but you have a gift too.  You have a small little something that God wants to use to show people his love. He can use your words of encouragement to be an angel and lift another persons soul.  Are you a hugger?  A crazy text person? That hug, the note or text of appreciation can turn an awful day to a bright one.  Your love for kids can bless a mom who needs an extra hand.  Whatever your little passion is God can use it to nourish a soul.